Dear Safe Schools Coalition members and friends,
Gays at the Prom:Less of an Issue Than Ever
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By Bob Levey
Friday, June 14, 2002; Page C11
Washington Post
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A48409-2002Jun13.html
Every spring brings high school prom weekend. Like a comet, the prom returns each year in much the same form.
Boys and girls spend scads to dress up, rent a limo, eat at a snazzy restaurant. Perhaps they drop a final few bucks on breakfast -- after staying up all night. Seniors may have recovered from jet lag by the time they graduate later this month.
Sound like a Norman Rockwell portrait, frozen in time? In fact, in the Washington area, the classic high school prom is undergoing considerable (and largely peaceful) change.
Gay students and couples are widely welcome at proms for the first time -- and no one seems ready to declare the end of the world at hand.
That doesn't mean gays are showing up in large numbers or being explicitly invited.
"I haven't heard of any school where it isn't a controversy," said Robert Rigby, a special-education teacher at Hayfield High School and chapter co-chairman of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. Coming to a prom as an "out" gay person "is a risk, even in the most welcoming schools," Robert said.
However, top officials of three large high schools in the Washington area say they have never had an actual problem and wouldn't expect one.
"If someone said tomorrow they wanted to" come to a prom as a gay person, or as part of a gay couple, "we'd say, 'That's fine,' " said Richard Griffin, assistant principal at West Springfield High School.
"Sometimes girls come together or boys come alone because they don't have dates. I don't know if the kids are gay or not," said Suzanne Maxey, principal of Bowie High School. However, she said gay couples would be welcome at the Bowie prom if they announced that they were gay.
"Several students have cross-dressed at the prom, and it's not a problem," said Pam Latt, principal of Centreville High School. "As long as they don't cause disruptive behavior. To me, it's the same rules for all kids. I don't allow anyone to kiss in the halls or dress outlandishly."
Robert Rigby said the number of gay-straight alliances is growing steadily. In Northern Virginia, "we've gone from two to nine," he said. "Barely a month goes by when a new one isn't formed."
Many gay-straight alliances offer alternative proms. Robert predicts that this trend will accelerate and may eventually mean that gay students and couples don't attend a "regular" prom at all.
The key:Gay acceptance is not being mandated by an adult in authority. By forming gay-straight alliances, "teenagers are the ones out there making schools safer" for kids of every sexual persuasion, Robert said. "Adults are following behind."
Still, this is a radioactive subject for many administrators. Several declined to comment. Others said they'd call back but never did.
Latt said that the gay-straight relationship is a part of a larger question in high school life -- and that respect is the key ingredient.
"We have to give people support," regardless of who they are or how different they might be, she said. "Kids act better [when] they feel accepted. Their differences, particularly gay-straight differences, aren't even an issue anymore.
"You cause more damage trying to avoid it than addressing it. Your fears are far worse than reality."
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The Safe Schools Coalition is a public-private partnership of 80+ organizations (government agencies, schools, community agencies, churches, youth/student groups, gay/lesbian groups, human rights groups) and 400+ individuals working to help schools become safe places where every family can belong, where every educator can teach, and where every child can learn,
regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
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Last updated 6/14/2002 by Jean Richter, richter@eecs.Berkeley.EDU