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Chicago Tribune
http://chicagotribune.com/

GAY EDUCATORS DISCOVERING STRENGTH IN HONESTY
EQUAL WORKING RIGHTS DON'T ALWAYS EXTEND TO THE CLASSROOM, A RECENT SURVEY FOUND.

By Tracy Dell'Angela
Tribune Staff Writer
April 19, 2000

Kindergarten teacher Randy Heite circulates around his Evanston classroom offering a few math tips to the girl weighing Spike the lizard, pointing out the disintegrating calcium on a bone soaked in vinegar, doling out a worm to the boy with a hungry garter snake wrapped around his arm.

In another moment, the 18 students sit cross-legged on a blue rug as the 30-year-old Chicago native talks about the Wright Brothers, the history of flight and his plans for spring vacation.

"When I go to Mexico next week with Mat, we'll get to go on an airplane," Heite says.

Mat, the kids know, is Mr. Heite's partner, the guy whose picture is taped to his storage closet.

Heite is gay. His colleagues know, the parents know,and so do the kids, in as much as the concept can be grasped by a kindergartner.

Heite is an anomaly in a profession that remains deeply closeted. At a time when gay students nationwide are seeking more visibility and pressuring their schools for anti-bias protection, gay teachers face enormous pressures to lie about their private lives, whether they are teaching young children or high school students.

Their fears are numerous and not altogether unfounded: job loss, parent protests, colleague alienation and student rejection.

While an estimated 83 percent of Americans support equal rights for homosexuals in the workplace, that support starts to wane when people are asked specifically about hiring and retaining teachers, according to a 1999 Gallup poll. Support for equal rights dropped to 61 percent for high school teachers and 54 percent for elementary school teachers. Some 33 percent believe school boards "ought to have the right to fire teachers who are known homosexuals," according to 1997 Gallup survey.

Heite's decision to be open at Kingsley Elementary has inspired mostly a fierce loyalty, a reflection of the tolerance of this north Evanston community and Heite's devotion to his work.

"I know there are people who disapprove of it. But if anyone tried to make an issue of it, there would be a phalanx of parents who would be out in force supporting him," said Lori Sue Mattson, who has known Heite since 1994 and was thrilled when her second daughter, Isabel, ended up in his class this year. "I'm glad he talks about Mat, because whatever happiness he has outside the classroom, he brings in here. Anyone who loves Randy is good enough for me."

Kevin Jennings, founder and executive director of GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network), an advocacy group aimed at fighting homophobia in schools, said such sentiments reveal the impact that even one beloved teacher can make at a school. But such acceptance is hardly the norm.

"Gay teachers have always worked under a `don't ask, don't tell' policy that was unwritten, but just as rigid as the military," Jennings said.

"People might be fine with having a gay lawyer, but when it comes to their kids, they get a little more irrational because that's when some of the myths kick in ... about gay people being a threat to children. Most gay teachers are afraid that if parents find out they're gay, all their good work won't matter."

Interviews with gay educators across the Chicago area suggest that the decision to come out at school is deeply personal, one that depends a great deal on the school climate. It also is usually triggered by the desire to be a better teacher and role model.

"It's a teacher's responsibility to be honest. If I'm not honest about who I am, how can I expect students to be honest with me?" said Bob Estrin, 51, a drama teacher at New Trier High School in Winnetka who was married for 21 years before coming to terms with his sexual orientation. "If I want to make a change in one person's life, then I can't hide from this."

Not everyone agrees with that level of honesty.

Jeanine LaBelle, a Naperville mom with three children, said she would be uncomfortable if one of her child's teachers were openly gay. And given the comments she's heard about teachers suspected of being gay, she believes her discomfort is widely shared.

"I would be more concerned about the influence that person would have on my child," she said. "There's no real reason for that fear. It's just something we don't understand, and a lot of people don't want to understand it because it's not the normal thing."

The case of a Michigan educator is often cited as a vivid reminder of the perils of being openly gay. Gerry Crane, a music teacher in a conservative town near Grand Rapids, was rebuked by the school board as an "unfit role model" and hounded by community members after it became known that he had a commitment ceremony with his partner in 1995. The pressure and threats led to his resignation in 1996. Five months later, at age 32, he died of a heart attack.

Despite this and other horror stories that keep many gay teachers closeted, teachers who have decided to be honest about their sexual orientation at school have found the experience much less traumatic than they expected, and in some cases, inspiring.

"I've never interviewed anyone who was out and regretted it," said Rita Kissen, author of "The Last Closet: The Real Lives of Lesbian and Gay Teachers" and an education professor at the University of Southern Maine. "Sure, it's not always positive. You don't know how people are going to respond. But a lot more teachers are coming out."

In the five years since GLSEN established a chapter in Chicago, membership has grown from a handful of city teachers to some 250 members representing nearly every suburban district. Another 700 people from the Chicago area also are listed as GLSEN members.

The support may be there, but the legal protections are spotty. Discrimination based on sexual orientation is illegal only in Cook County, and only a handful of school districts have offered similar protection either in their teachers' contracts or board policies.

In some cases, gay teachers are "shamed" into coming out by students who are not only being more open about their own sexuality, but are working publicly to make schools safer and more tolerant. Student-led Gay-Straight Alliances are finding a voice even at the most conservative high schools, but these groups seldom find gay teachers willing to sponsor or publicly support them.

"It's every adult's job to make the schools a safe place, but in far too many places, that job is being left to the students," said Jennings, a former history teacher. "The irony is that it's a glass closet. The kids know. So what messages are these adults sending? Be ashamed. Be afraid. It's OK to lie."

For Betty Lark Ross, a visual arts teacher at The Latin School ofChicago, it was the suicide of a gay Ohio teenager five years ago that forced her to confront the price of her silence. Given statistics about the suicide rates of gay teenagers, Ross worried that it was only a matter of time before this boy's tragedy was repeated at her school.

The fear that she could be failing her students, especially the gay students who so desperately needed positive role models, started to overtake her fear of disclosure.

"It was an incredible risk factor for me. We're not tenured," said Ross, who has been teaching for 25 years, 18 at the elite private school. "But the other side of my fear was my freedom. And I've found that only extremely positive things have happened to me since coming out as a gay teacher."

Ross now serves as co-chair for the Chicago chapter of GLSEN and as her school's faculty adviser for the student Gay-Straight Alliance.

"If it isn't safe for the teachers, it can't be safe for the students," said Ross, who now feels comfortable inviting her partner of 14 years, Becky, to school functions. "There was a time when it was hard for me to even say the word lesbian, so I know (coming out) is a process. We're talking about changing people's belief system."

This process can get tricky, especially for a teacher, because many administrators and parents assume that "coming out" means talking about sex, when in fact it usually means sharing mundane details about weekend plans or displaying a symbol of political support, such as a rainbow flag or a pink triangle.

Forrest Turpin, a former teacher and now executive director of California-based Christian Educators Association International, said he doesn't believe gay teachers should be fired, but they should keep any discussion of their "controversial lifestyle patterns" out of the classroom. He said that even something as innocuous as discussing vacation plans sends kids the message that a same-sex relationship is acceptable, a notion that a sizable segment of parents oppose. According to a recent Newsweek poll, 46 percent of respondents say they believe homosexuality is a sin.

"Homosexuals aren't the only ones who are guarded," said Turpin, who said Christian educators also have to censor classroom talk to avoid any mention of their religious beliefs for fear it would offend someone. "I think teaching is a performance, and a good teacher can overcome a lot of restrictions."

Heite said he has no intention of living with this restriction, even if he were to move to a different school. He has found that being a positive leader helps his students reject some of the anti-gay messages that start to take hold later in grade school years.

"I know I'm very lucky to be in a place where I can be myself," he said. "But no matter where I was, I couldn't hide. I need to be judged on whether I'm a good teacher, which has nothing to do with my sexuality."
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"The Actual or Perceived GLBT Student Protection Project"

A project of:
Coalition for Safer Schools of NYS

John Myers
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(518) 587-0176
Email: saratogany@aol.com

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