Dear Safe Schools Coalition members and friends,

Ideal schools: Middle school essayists share their vision

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The Boston Globe, May 6, 2001
Box 2378, Boston, MA 02107
(Fax:617-929-2098 ) (E-MAIL:letter@globe.com )
(http://www.boston.com/globe)
In March, we asked students in grades 6, 7, and 8 to write about ''My Ideal School'' for the third annual Globe essay contest. Almost 3,800 students responded, sharing their ideas and ideals and their knowledge of what has worked for them.

[Ten were selected for publication, among which was the following:]
Eli Kowalski, Grade 7, Cambridgeport School, Cambridge

One of the most important things that you can have in a school is an accepting, friendly social community. In schools around my area, I feel that the social community is extremely narrow. People have to look, act, and dress a certain way to become the definition of ''cool,'' and many people, including myself, do not want to be like everyone else. We want to be different; we want to be ourselves. Because of the narrow definition of cool, we are teased, harassed, and even bullied. This essay is going to be about the social community in my perfect school, and how schools that are having this problem can help their students.

One of the biggest things that people get teased about is being gay. Even if the student isn't gay, other students like to use the words gay, homo, faggot, and other slang words for gay against him. I have lesbian mothers and feel extremely disappointed and angry when I hear these words being used against other students, because I then know that these students don't really know about gay and lesbian people, and aren't educated enough to know that gay people are just like everybody else. If a student realizes he or she is gay while in middle school or high school, I guarantee that this student would have the hardest time coming out to people, because he would be endlessly teased and harassed by the cool people in the school. In my perfect school, everybody would be educated and everybody would be accepting of a student who decides he is gay or she is lesbian. Nobody would get teased or harassed, but if someone does mistreat a gay student because they were gay, the class would have a discussion where everybody would state their opinion, the class would educate the student and tell him why he should stop, and then the class would figure out a solution to the problem.

For schools that are having this problem now, and in my perfect school, we would have young gay and lesbian college students come and talk to the class about being gay. They might explain how hard it was for them to come out, and how they wished that the school community was more open and accepting. We would also have kids from neighborhood schools and young adults from the community come and talk to the classes about how it feels or felt growing up with lesbian or gay parents. The class could ask questions, like ''How did it feel to hear students calling other students gay or fag?'' ''How did you react to that?'' Then our guests would explain their answers and continue answering questions and telling stories about their experiences. The gay men and women would come back often, so they could help us solve problems and answer more of our questions.

Another very broad, but important, teasing factor is being different. If a student is a slow learner, he or she is teased and disrespected. If a student struggles with a certain subject, he or she is teased and disrespected. If the student has disabilities, he or she is teased and disrespected. Or, even if a student feels like dyeing his or her hair bright purple, they are disrespected. This is probably one of the most common teasing situations because, as I said before, the definition of cool is very, very narrow. If someone is just a tiny bit different, they're not cool. Usually the ''uncool'' kids have friends that weren't accepted into the cool group, and they have their own definition of cool, which, of course, is themselves.

All I am trying to say is that kids deserve to be in an accepting, open community. Teasing and disrespecting are mean and can emotionally damage someone for life. When kids are worried about being teased or called names because of who they are, they can't focus or learn as well. In my perfect school, these wouldn't be factors in the lists of problems that we might have, so kids could be as different or as similar as they wanted.

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The Safe Schools Coalition is a public-private partnership of 60+ organizations (government agencies, schools, community agencies, churches, youth/student groups, gay/lesbian groups, human rights groups) and 400+ individuals working to help Washington State schools become safe places where every family can belong, where every educator can teach, and where every child can learn, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.

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