Letter: Prejudice destroys gay young people

On March 23, The Sentinel published an article by columnist Linda Bowles defending Dr. Laura's attack on the "homosexual agenda." In it, she perpetuated many of the myths and stereotypes about gay individuals. Once again the gay persons of our community were bashed with vitriolic words even to the point of equating being gay with a "dead end lifestyle." Our community would not tolerate the use of similar words if used to describe any other group.

No church in the area, should condone such lack of love and mercy. We find it interesting and disturbing that here, weeks later, no one has written to The Sentinel and countered her remarks. Why are such words tolerated?

Ms. Bowles' prejudice comes through loud and clear. We surely hope that the youth leaders - school administrators, teachers, young peoples leaders, and ministers - in our community not only teach that prejudice destroys but that we are to love our neighbor as ourself. Are not gay individuals our neighbors? Prejudice not only destroyed Matt Shepherd and dozens of other victims of hate crime, but it also destroys the lives of those carry out these crimes.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for young gay persons age 15 to 24. One-third of the gay Christian youth we talk to have attempted suicide. Statements like Ms. Bowles' create an environment of disrespect and disdain for gay individuals which must be countered. Words do have consequences.

Prejudice destroys, not just in the big crimes that make the headlines, and in those who lose jobs or homes, but also in insidious ways often not recognized.

We ask, "What brought you to the brink of suicide?" expecting big crises like "My parents threw me out of the house" (which does happen.) We are surprised when more often then not it was not something big, but small and continuous. Gay youth get the message daily - the "faggot" in the halls at school, along with sick jokes, and cruel comments. Rarely, if ever, does a young person hear gays spoken of in a positive light. Often teachers are not even aware that the comment "That's so gay!" repeated day in and day out chips away piece by piece at a gay student's self esteem. Nor, we wonder, if teachers, who do not counter prejudice, are aware of the damage the negative attitude does to the person speaking the words.

Piece by piece our gay youth get the picture that they are different, and do not fit in or belong. One of the most basic human needs is to be accepted, to be loved. Sooner or later they seek ways to lessen the pain. Many skip school, some engage in risky behaviors seeking acceptance by others and self. Some even conclude "God hates me!" One-third see no way out except suicide. Prejudice destroys. A recent survey of gay youth that reported high rates of harassment in our schools, also reported that peers were more likely to intervene to stop harassment than school staff. Silence is complicity. A youth leader who hears, "That's gay!" and does nothing is perpetuating prejudice, and participating in the harassment and destruction of gay individuals.

Not only does prejudice destroy, but silence is complicity.

- Don and Carmen Bergman, Park Township [dbrenegade@hotmail.com]

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