Novi teen exemplifies next generation of gay activism

By Deb Price / The Detroit News

WASHINGTON -- He is a tireless advocate for gay youth, founding a gay/straight alliance. He has testified about discrimination before a local school board and spoken to the Michigan Education Association. He recently led a workshop at a national summit on gay youth. He has been honored by the Midwest Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. He is set to address a gay-pride rally and to offer his insights at a teachers' diversity training session. He works for a gay publication.

Sound like the resume of a 20-year veteran of the gay-rights movement? Well, meet Matt Barton. He's 18 years old and a senior at Novi High School.

Barton epitomizes a precocious new generation of gay leaders. They're self-assured, outspoken and totally open at far earlier ages than any wave of leaders that preceded them.

They haven't so much come out of the closet as bypassed it. Unlike like their elders -- indeed, unlike most of their peers -- their emotional development isn't being stunted by years of hiding, self-censorship and fear. They feel strong and special and a profound sense of responsibility to help less-fortunate gay youth.

"After my parents accepted me and I had a support network of friends, I realized that I had nothing to worry about," recalls Matt, who came out at 16 to his supportive mom. "I have had the life that every gay teen wishes for. Sometimes I take that for granted and assume everyone is accepted, when in truth they aren't. I am trying to make it better for high school teens."

Emerging gay-rights leaders who share Matt's sense of mission are scattered all over the country -- one in this high school, two in that. And they've begun joining forces in order to inspire one another and, in a phrase they love repeating, "not to have to keep reinventing the wheel."

Last weekend, for the first time in his life, Barton had a chance to brainstorm with hundreds of students his own age who're asking the same questions he is: How can we get better HIV education into health classes? How can we make schools a safe place to be gay? Can a school board be turned into an ally? How can we rescue gay youth from self-destructive behavior -- drugs, high-risk sex and suicide attempts?

In the heart of Dupont Circle, the gayest address in Washington, D.C., Matt and 300 other young people gathered for the second annual summit of the National Youth Advocacy Coalition (NYAC). Having launched a gay/straight alliance at his 1,500-student high school, Matt coordinated an energetic, two-hour roundtable discussion of ways to overcome obstacles to making schools gay-friendly.

"This generation is interested in talking about what works. They're interested in talking about their power, not their lack of power," observes NYAC executive director Rea Carey, a conference elder at 31.

NYAC is the only national organization solely dedicated to GLBT youth. (GLBT, shorthand for gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, is the label summit-goers embraced as more inclusive than "gay" and less in-your-face than "queer.") Other national youth groups ignore or shun them, wary of being falsely accused of "recruiting."

NYAC helps bridge a huge gap, a fact underscored by the explosion of community-based gay youth groups -- 100 when it started five years ago; 800 today.

Throughout their three-day summit, which ended Monday, GLBT youth turned to one another, not to adults, as the experts. Whether preppy like Barton, purple-haired punkers or girls with buzz cuts, they displayed a remarkable lack of cynicism. Their can-do attitude kept them focused on solutions, suggestions, pathways to progress.

The summit definitely was not Gay 101. There were no workshops with titles like, "Coming Out to Mom and Dad." Instead, the out, proud and 14- to 22-year-old crowd flocked to sessions like "HIV/AIDS/STDs: So You Think You Know It All," "The Internet: Where It's @" and "Mentoring: Relationships for Healthy Development."

For Matt, the summit was a welcome chance to not stand out. "You get alone at the top," he deadpans, reveling in having met so many teen-aged activists who're as involved as he is.

Matt and the other activist youths represent a real break with the past because from very early ages they "see their identity as an asset not a liability," executive director Carey says. They approach adults as well as classmates with awesome self-confidence, spelling out precisely what they want or need.

As Matt puts it, "People have a difficult time hating you when you are so sure of yourself. They no longer see you as 'the gay guy.' "

In Matt's case, he's reaping the benefits of self-assurance that manifested itself before he even knew the word "gay." In kindergarten, his mother Lynn Francis recalls, his teacher admired him as a little boy "who was secure in who he was."

Francis says she'd always sensed the eldest of her three children was different from other boys. Although always active and a leader in school, he'd had trouble bonding with male friends. In 10th grade, when her dashing son briefly dated a girl, Francis recalls sensing that the relationship had no spark. Shortly thereafter, before Matt headed off to summer science camp, she found a gay magazine in his bedroom.

That prompted her to ask Barton, "Are you questioning your sexuality?" He replied, "No." It was a truthful answer, he reflects back now, because he was certain he was gay. But he needed a little more time to figure out how to tell her.

Matt wrote her from camp. "I'm gay," he confirmed. "I'm not sorry for who I am. I hope you can accept me. And if not, then that's your choice."

Francis, 47, says she was grateful Matt trusted her enough to tell her. "I was proud of him for knowing who he was and for asking me to accept it," she recalls. Matt, whose parents are divorced, also found support from his father and stepfather.

While his mom says she's accepted him fully, she still worries.

"He hasn't experienced the real world. There is a lot of prejudice out there. I'm frightened people might harm him physically or emotionally." Not the least of her fears, understandably, is AIDS. "He talks like he's very mature and responsible, but I know people older than him who aren't perfect when it comes to sex."

She also fears he'll miss out on much of life, though she hopes he'll fulfill his dream of a lasting relationship.

Matt, sensitive to his mom's fears, helps her out by sharing examples of how easily he blends in at school. Other than being taunted by a younger boy who called him "faggot," Barton's experience of being out has been refreshingly positive.

He's felt comfortable driving to school in his red '89 Firebird, which is plastered with a rainbow strip and other gay stickers. He gossips with straight pals about the ups and downs of dating. He tells them stories from his part-time job as chief photographer at the statewide gay paper Between the Lines.

When he wanted to duplicate the success of a gay/straight alliance started at Ann Arbor's Pioneer High School, he called on his circle of friends for support. He confesses fearing he'd be the only student at the first meeting in April 1997. But 35 showed up. "I was the only out and proud gay person," he says with a grin. "Getting it started was the most exciting thing in my life."

Matt believes his openness -- which became widely known after his new group became a hot topic in the school's Wildcat Roar newspaper -- has created a more gay-friendly atmosphere at Novi High School. His principal, Jennifer Cheal, agrees. She adds that because Matt was already popular, "it didn't create an uproar" when he told everyone he's gay. "It was just one more thing about Matt."

Having been able to feel like just part of the crowd at the national gay youth summit, Matt now wants to be just another senior enjoying prom night. With characteristic forthrightness, he told his principal he'll be bringing a male date. Matt looks forward to fulfilling another dream at his prom this Saturday night. "I've always wanted to slow-dance and not have it be a big deal," he says.

"I've really enjoyed my high school years," he adds enthusiastically, knowing that he'll have memories that most gay adults have never had. Next fall, he enters Michigan State University, where he'll study political science and sociology. He jokes that he'll have to pace himself so he doesn't burn out too young as an activist. One day, he hopes to work full-time with gay teens.

The Matt Bartons of America -- our newest gay leaders -- are striving to make his exceptional high school experience thoroughly commonplace. The simple pleasures of growing up should be rites for all.

For gay teens

Local

Youth prom: 8 p.m.-midnight Saturday, substance-free youth prom for 20 and under (dates can be older) at Back Street, intersection of Greenfield and Joy Roads, Detroit. $7 per person; $10 per couple.

Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center: 195 W. Nine Mile Road, Ferndale. (248) 398-7105; (800) 398-GAYS (evening help line). Saturday youth group (1 p.m.-3:30 p.m.) and peer counseling. Affirmationsglbt@juno.com and prideaccess.com/affirmations

Triangle Foundation, Detroit: 313 537-3323. Focus on anti-gay hate crime.

Online

http://www.nyacyouth.org: National Youth Advocacy Coalition (NYAC)

http://www.youth-guard.org: Youth Guardian Services

http://www.oasismag.com: Oasis monthly online youth magazine

http://www.glsen.org: Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network (GLSEN)

National

OutYouth (800) 96-YOUTH, 6:30 p.m.-10:30 p.m. daily

Indiana Youth Group (800) 347-TEEN, 8 p.m.-10 p.m. Friday-Saturday

NYAC's Bridges Project (202) 319-7596 Ext. 10

GLSEN (212) 727-0135

Books

"Outing Yourself: How to Come Out" by Michelangelo Signorile (Random House)

"Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know About Homosexuality" by Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward (Harcourt Brace)

"Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian Youth and Their Allies" by Ellen Bass and Kate Kaufman (HarperCollins)

"Joining the Tribe: Growing Up Gay and Lesbian in the '90s" by Linnea Due (Anchor Books)

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